wise beyond my years

I like to consider myself a prophetess in disguise -- especially when it comes to the dating wisdom I give men. A sampling:

Yes, you are supposed to remember that seemingly insignificant relationship milestone. No, it's not OK if you make her pay this time. Yes, she will tell her best friend you did that.

Impressed? So am I. Which is why I can't believe AskMen gives its readers this piece, "Advice You Shouldn't Take From Women."

The worst part is that some of the items technically aren't even really advice. Whatever. I see no other recourse than to create my own collection of "advice" you shouldn't take from men. Also known as a bunch of common lines that are overt lies.

Like:

"We can get there without asking for directions."

"Have one more drink - you'll be fine."

"Wait up - I'll call you the instant I get home."

"My last girlfriend? She was totally crazy."

"Keep talking...I'm listening to every word you're saying."